Archive for the ‘jeff heimbuch’ Category

Really? This is a real news report?

From some reason, if I was a criminal that was electrocuted by this Hello Kitty Taser, I would immediately retire from my life of crime.

Last weekend was our Second Annual Lose The Remote Lake Day! Lots of fun was had, swimming was swum, and sports were played.

We also could not resist the urge for a little mischief.

Joey Noe (aka Froggy), previously seen around here trying to get people to check out his dating website profile, is an asshole. Make no mistake, we’re all assholes, but he is definitely the biggest. So, the rest of the LTR crew decided to play a little joke on him when cooking up some tasty hamburgers.

You may never want to come to a LTR outing again after this one…

I might be behind on the times on this, but I just had this sent to me. Holy hilarious, Batman!

My real question is…

WHY DOES HE STICK THE REMOTE UP HIS BUTT?

I know they call soccer “football” across the pond, but what kind of ass backward rules do they have over there in England? This is NOT how soccer is played here!

It was only a matter of time before something like this happened, and now it’s official. The latest social networking flavor of the month has finally offed someone.

A Romanian teenager was found dead in her bath tub a few weeks ago from electrocution. It seems that this 17 year old, who was soaking it up at home, thought it was a great idea to tweet her entire bathroom experience to her followers. Being in there must have been real exciting, because apparently she was tweeting for so long that her laptop battery started to die. So, Miss Darwin Award Winner tried to plug it in to charge it, and after doing so, decided to test the water resistance of said laptop. Instead of the laptop battery dying, she did.

My question to her is this: Really? Was your bathing regiment so exciting that you had to tell the world all about it? So much so that it managed to cause your death? I mean, I like Twitter as much as the next guy…hell, all of us on this site use it! But come on! Really?

Unfortunately, I couldn’t find her account on Twitter to see what her last few tweets were, but I would imagine they went something like this:

@BathingRomanianBabe – OMG I’m sooooo stressed, I need to take a bath. I’m such a social networking whore that I will tweet the entire time so you can pretend you’re here with me.

@BathingRomanianBabe – Filling the bathtub with water.

@BathingRomanianBabe – Forgot to plug the drain up, so all the water was just going away. LOLZ

@BathingRomanianBabe – I’m taking a bath and I’m tweeting! LOLOMGROFL

@BathingRomanianBabe – Battery dying! Need to plug it in! STFULOLWTF?

@BathingRomanianBabe – Oops, I dropped my laptop into the tub!

@BathingRomanianBabe – OMG I’m dead. FML

So remember kids, next time you feel like you just HAVE to tell the world about that brand new body wash you just rubbed all over your body in the shower, remember that people don’t kill people, Twitter kills people.

We all read the things written on stalls in public restrooms. How could we not? People love to enlighten us with their wisdom that they have learned over the years, fanciful poems they have come across, or just to share racially charged insults aimed to hurt your feelings (I have thick skin, though, so I’m good).

I came across this very specific insult in a bathroom stall the other day and I could not resist sharing it with you!

Unlike some of our other posters, I do not work in “the industry.” I have, however, had brushes with them over the years. In fact, I was on TRL once…TRL being the only time MTV ever plays music videos anymore (and not even the whole video, at that).

Anyway, before they killed off TRL, I was on it for an unlikely contest. Notice how, surprisingly, I WASN’T the biggest tool there.

I love Wawa.  And I love their hoagies. I eat them at least once a week.

Wawa is doing their Hoagiefest again this year, and they are asking for people to submit songs and videos for a chance to win a gigantic Hoagie party for their friends, and free hoagies for a year.

So, I wrote a stupid rap song about my love for Wawa hoagies and it’s now live on their site and ready to be voted on.

Enjoy my crappy rap song. It’s totally bad and totally awesome

Click hear to listen and vote!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand we’re back! Welcome to Lose The Remote, the internet webblog filled with insightful comments and more schtick than you can shake a stick at!

We’ll be updating regularly, and throw in a few video blogs and sketches along the way!