PLUS! Harvey Levin going nuts.

v.s

Did you know that the average person outside of the United States has a vocabulary in the range of 40,00 words? Did you know that the average American has about 20,000 words in his vocabulary?

Probably not, because no one in America actually reads anymore. Instead, we take to the “interweb”, a glorious invention by the great caped crusader of climate change Al Gore, and talk to your friends who we’ve just seen five minutes ago, or to co-workers who sit not twenty feet from us.

And what exactly, has the English language boiled down to? We now use words like “LOL” & “LMAO”. I for one, will never be caught dead using one of these words. But I was curious, so I took to the offices of MTV Networks to find out who exactly says LOL or LMAO in their daily online conversations.

This is when I found out about a coming revolution. The new “it” word in online laughter is no longer the dreaded LOL but rather “HA” or in variations “HAHA”. Let’s use an example:

Jrexer24: Dude, I heard Michael Jackson died of food poisening. Yeah, he choked on 12 year old nuts.
Tiredkittyyawn0723: lololol

Jrexer24: Dude, I went to the bar last night. yeah, I ordered an NBA draft. Too bad most of the beer was imported though.
Keyboardcatrulez111: Haaa

Which do you prefer? Personally, I’ll take a “HA” any day of the week. But now, I open it up to the forum.

Were you as shocked as I was last night to learn that Jon and Kate separated and are now in the process of filing for divorce? I can’t believe it, and it has most certainly topped the list of things that I will be talking about today on my train ride in to work, and then again when I speak with my co-workers in social situations. All I can think about is what is going to happen to Jon? What about Kate? What about the children?

So people listen to this- I just spent 90 minutes of my life signing up for a dating website to bust a nut. However, I think I took it too seriously and actually wrote the truth…

Nah.

Anyway, the problem I have with dating websites is this: I just want to bust a nut… maybe in a eye, maybe not in a eye. But the problem is this: one signs up and then sends some winks. I can’t even email or chat to these women who have chosen to make their presences known to me. I feel that it is my duty as a fellow web dater to nail these women.

Now, I am not a pig, but trust me, I am no virgin (or maybe I am). Should I really have to pay a third party to allow me to just email someone and that that’s not even a definite busting of a nut. Come on! I would be better off getting a hooker (P.S. My birthday is coming up for anyone who wants get me one. Please let’s do The Bunny Ranch anyway).

The thing I did that I am kinda happy about, but at the same time a little scared, is the fact that I put in the profile my Facebook account name so these people can contact me. So this way I can bust a nut and not have to pay for it. But by the same token I am afraid that a crazy bitch is gong to come knocking on my door Or Betty, the 300 pound monste,r might want to crush me. Anyway I am going to post the link… Yes, you, the sexy one reading this right now, click it and find more about Froggy! (Please no men and I am not GAY for the hundred time!)

http://www.zoosk.com/profile.php?from=nav

EDITORS NOTE: You need to sign up for the website to view his profile. Trust me when I say it’s not worth signing up for!

Williard the mean kangaroo

It’s being reported that due to the recession, ticket sales for the second leg of Britney Spears’ tour are much lower than the first leg.

Well, can’t say it’d be the first time Britney’s been accused of having a huge gap between her first and second legs.

I might be behind on the times on this, but I just had this sent to me. Holy hilarious, Batman!

My real question is…

WHY DOES HE STICK THE REMOTE UP HIS BUTT?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31492608/ns/world_news-africa/

Joke 1:
When the judge was reached for comment, he reportedly said: “The conviction was easy, they really didn’t have a leg to stand on”

Joke 2
Will anyone convict the doctors for armed robbery?

Joke 3
For taking this hard stance on crime, let’s give the judge a hand!

Okay, seriously, I’m done.